Translating Pitchfork.com


Pitchfork.com posted a want ad for new writers. We read between the lines and translated the subtext:

(Original)

Pitchfork is looking for writers to review new albums and tracks on a freelance basis. Candidates should have a deep knowledge of music past and present, with a particular interest in emerging artists, and must be able to communicate ideas clearly with a unique and engaging voice. The best way for us to get an idea of your writing is to see pieces about recorded music– published reviews, blog posts, spec reviews of upcoming releases, or otherwise. Please don’t send links to artist profiles, show previews or reviews, news items, etc.

If interested, email writerapps@pitchfork.com with the following:

Your three or four best pieces (links only, no attachments please)

Lists of your 10 favorite albums and 10 favorite tracks of 2010

A brief word about yourself, including where you are located

We won’t be able to respond to individual submissions, but if we like what we see, we’ll be in touch. The deadline for submissions is Sunday, July 25. Thanks.

(Translation)

Pitchfork is downsizing, so we’re looking to hire out our album reviews.  Candidates should have a deep knowledge of obscure music that is culturally unimportant.  We focus on emerging artists, because we want to make a band so that we can credit ourselves for being right, or be the first to break them so that nobody listens to music that we don’t want to like.  The best way for us to judge you is to see pieces of your writing.  It’s cool if you are published and established, but once again we are looking to make or break up-and-coming creative talent.

If interested, email youbetterbewearinganironictshirt@pitchfork.com, with the following:

Your three or four best pieces, which we will grade with arbitrarily-conceived scores

List of our 10 favorite albums and 10 favorite tracks of 2010

A brief word about yourself, including where you are located, because if you are not from New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles, we don’t care what you think.

We’re self-serving, so we won’t give you any advice. The deadline for submissions is Sunday, July 25. We’re awesome.

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