This is the first of what I hope will become an ongoing segment here at Contested. I call it “Dear Internet…” What’s the point of this segment? Finding the answers to tough questions with the help of you, the readers of our fine and upstanding blog. First on our agenda: Basil Marceaux, Republican candidate for the Governorship of Tennessee. Watch the video above and take these facts into careful consideration. His plans for bettering the state include “remove all gold fringe flags from the state”, “stop traffic stops”, and “plant grass or vegetation across the state.”
His website states “IF YOU VOTE FOR ME AND IF I WIN I WILL IMMUNE YOU FROM ALL STATE CRIMES FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE!” It also has a list of 7 people/organizations sued by Mr. Marceaux, including someone who allegedly promoted slavery at a traffic stop. Part of his running platform is to include a free gift program with equal health care. There is also a list of hobbies which contains art, reading, martial arts, and survival training. I shit you not.
So… Dear Internet, is Basil Marceaux in some way mentally challenged or is he the greatest satirist in the history of the world?