This Movie is Headed for a Disaster of Biblical Proportions


Columbia keeps cutting the ghost contamination grid.  Every time they do, more and more harrowing news leaks out into the world, making it a more inhabitable place.  Most recently, Ivan Reitman, a ghost who can be seen most recently spying on Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman’s sex scenes, emerged from the holding tank to describe the script as “good enough to do, to take the risk of doing again.”  Let’s translate that, since we can read the indecipherable ghost speak: “I haven’t had a popular movie since 1998.  Let me cash in on my biggest success.”  Sorry, Ivan. Once you become a ghost, there’s no coming back.  We’ll get you back into the tank as soon as the EPA reverts the power.

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