The Farrelly Brothers Are Knuckleheads

The Farrelly Brothers finally announced their third Stooge, naming Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe.  This ends the drawn out and headline-grabbing process that saw the Farrelly Brothers name everybody that popped into their collective mind.  Despite their attempts, the Three Stooges movie is already struggling out of the gate.

The Stooges movie is not a biopic, but rather a continuation of the original films with different actors as the original characters.  By recreating the famous characters, the Farrelly’s are conceding that they are integral to the franchise.  Looking at the history, this proves to be true.

The Three Stooges started out with Shemp, then moved on to Curly where they realized their most popular lineup.  After Curly’s unfortunate death, the Three Stooges eventually turned to Curly Joe, an actor who resembled Curly and took on his persona.  Curly Joe wasn’t bad, but let’s just say AMC doesn’t sell their New Years Day marathon on Curly Joe’s image.

The Three Stooges’ original lineup was incredible: Jim Carrey, one of the great physical comedians playing one of the greatest physical comedians in Curly; two-time Oscar-winner Sean Penn, with curly hair and a nasally voice, portraying Larry; and Oscar-winner Benicio Del Toro as Moe, although that always an odd choice.  When things started to fall apart, Paul Giamatti stepped in as a formidable replacement for Penn.  But now? They have the guy from MadTV, the guy from Will & Grace, and a guy who was on 24 and The Kennedys.  Those names won’t fill a theater.

In the 2010 MLB offseason, the Red Sox superseded their fiscal philosophy to steal Carl Crawford from the Angels.  They offered him the second-highest yearly salary for an outfielder to fill the seats.  The Red Sox brass saw ratings decline with a hodgepodge team full of hard-working, albeit it boring, players, and decided that it’s more important to be winning with big names rather than competing with a team that looks good on paper.  After the Yankees lost out on Cliff Lee, they signed Rafael Soriano even though they already had a closer and a setup man.  Instead of finding somebody that can sell jerseys, the Farrelly Brothers decided to look for cheap free agents that can win, but won’t make any noise.

Granted, people are interested in the movie because of the source material, but the characters are so beloved and integral that these TV stars won’t hold a candle the same way that Carrey, Del Toro, Penn or Giamatti would have.

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